I was approached by Morgan, our Director of Marketing, to write a blog about addiction and codependency. To write something about how I found myself working in the treatment industry. Me write a blog? Like a blog, blog? Like something other people will read? I immediately thought to myself that I couldn’t write anything someone would be the least bit interested in reading, let alone be chosen to follow up on Heather’s blog. You know, the one detailing her rise to become our fearless leader after reaching depths of her addiction. And those pictures? I’d have some tough shoes to fill for sure.
Before getting started, I wanted to lead off by saying it is an absolute honor and pleasure working with the folks at Serenity Light Recovery and the people in this industry. I have never seen such dedication from a group of individuals. This is not a job for them. It’s a cause. And for those who have never worked for a cause, try it. It’s life-changing.
I’m a relative newcomer to the field of substance abuse treatment, but I’m not new to the business. I have had the chance to work for some amazing organizations under some of the brightest mentors. I am forever grateful and indebted to them for what they taught me and the opportunities they gave me. But the reality of how I got to this industry, like so many other treatment professionals, is more personal than it was professional.
Addiction and Codependency
My wife and I lived a much different life several years ago. We drank and used drugs together. Clearly, addiction and codependency had us. Both of us were convinced our behavior was normal. We were at home. We didn’t run around town or hurt anyone. Instead, we were just having fun. As so many of us know, it’s fun until it’s not.
I’m often asked if I am an addict. I mean, I fit all the criteria to label myself an addict–negative consequences, hopelessness, and the insanity. To this day, find it hard to say that I am an addict. Not because I am embarrassed or afraid, but because I don’t want to take away from the life and death struggle I have seen addicts face fighting this disease. I have a tough time labeling myself as an addict because I was lucky, I was able to stop. I worry about using the title and taking away from those who could not.
My wife was one of those not so lucky. I watched her struggle with her addiction for months after getting sober myself. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why she could not stop. Because I could, why couldn’t she? Over and over, I ran it through my head trying to make sense of it as a loved one tried my hardest to outsmart the disease. I thought I could control it, control her behavior, and at one point I even thought I caused it.
Miraculously, I even woke up with a MD apparently and thought I could cure it but only made the problem worse. I had gone from AA to Al-Anon in the blink of an eye. Now I had a clear view of what addiction could do to a family.
Treatment for Addiction and Codependency
When she had no choice, my wife agreed to go to treatment. During her treatment, I had plenty of time to self-reflect on how things got so out of control. I knew that my behaviors were damaging to everything I had going on in my life. But I still engaged in it for so long even after negative consequences. I started to understand what my wife must have been going through all along. With a chance to spend a lot of time with my family and my little one, I came to understand what was important in life. Nothing will make something seem so important, like the harsh reality of losing it all.
At the tail end of her stay in Kerrville, I was lucky enough to attend a family program at one of the best facilities in the great state of Texas. I knew this program would be something that would require some soul searching, understanding, and compromise. This was sure to put us both of us outside our comfort zone. Regardless, I was excited to see her and could finally spend more than only a few hours with her. For three days, I learned more than I thought I would ever learn about her, me, and how addiction affected our family. Addiction is truly a family disease.
And those three days, I was a student once again. I focused on every word coming out of the therapist’s mouth. I knew what they were teaching me about addiction and codependency could be the difference in my family, making it or not. She was my inspiration. She was working harder than I had ever seen her work and operating outside of her comfort zone. Working her ass off, she was dedicated to her program. Now I had to be.
Making a Difference
Leaving the facility for the last time we walked and talked. I was always passionate about what is I did for a living. Right or wrong, I had always defined a large part of me by what I did from 8-5 (my wife wishes this was true). I vividly remember walking with her on the grounds and told her how amazing it would be to do this for a living. I was so grateful for what I learned, the changes in her, and the new opportunity to start over. So many people leave treatment and stay in the industry that allowed them to live life again. I was bitten by the bug, too.
The stars aligned, and it was my wife that decided first to move into the industry. She had developed a relationship with Heather and moved from her corporate marketing position to representing Serenity as a Marketing Liaison. She loved her job. It was rewarding and fulfilling for her. I was fortunate enough to work on a few projects with the Serenity team that enabled me to get a feel for what was going on out in Angleton. It was special. People treated this as a mission and not a job. After some dancing to make sure we were a good fit for one another, I decided to leave corporate America and the traffic behind for a quiet drive down FM 521.
Serenity Light Recovery
And a year later, that drive is the only quiet thing about working at Serenity! Every day is a new adventure. There are challenges. We are setting out to do what only the best do. We try and make a difference in every client’s life. The rewards are unlike anything I have felt in my career, and I sincerely love it. I would not trade it for the world. The clients teach me something new about myself every day. I know the day their mom, dad, wife, husband, brother, or sister called looking for help. I get to watch them make their journey of sobriety each day.
As I close my rambling attempt at my first blog post about addiction and codependency, I leave you with this. Each day we have to try to do better than we did the day before, try to work in a profession you love because then it never really works. And lastly, try and make a difference in someone’s life.
Cheers,
As our CEO, Heather’s main calling is to stay true to the vision of the organization, which is saving lives and striving to redefine statistics by raising the standard of care with evolving treatment methods. Heather studied psychology at LSU and both the main and Clear Lake campuses of the University of Houston, and she is a certified IASIS provider and CPI instructor. She’s been helping people in recovery since 2011. Heather’s motto to live by is “I am not what I’ve done; I am what I’ve overcome.”
